Good Ol' Character Building

It's been a rough couple of weeks.



I remind myself of the dad's wisdom from Calvin and Hobbes. Look at uncomfortable situations as CHARACTER BUILDING.

Similarly, I'm taking to heart just how much trials reveal your true person. C.S. Lewis described it well when he wrote on the topic -- provocation is not an excuse for wrong behavior.  What we do when pushed past our limits of patience reveals who we ARE, not just how we act in frustrating situations. As Lewis wrote, "If there are rats in a cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly.  But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. (Mere Christianity)"

Living with three young kids who are, well, kids, has clarified a little more for me my pride, my impatience, and my anger.

When the crises pile up, whether between the kids or with me, I find myself doing things like driving angrily fast or being short with strangers.

Is it egotistical to spank children in your own anger? Are there times when words (even yelling) simply don't get the message across? Maybe it's mutually beneficial? (The kids got what they now call a fessee americaine this  week -- a stinging punishment with a wooden spoon. I've also threatened to pass on the mouth-washing-with-soap punishment that I recall so vividly from my childhood.  I hope it isn't necessary in the final week before I leave).

Oh King Solomon, maybe you were wrong. A gentle response does not necessarily turn away wrath!

Even experiences with well-meaning, but -- let's be real -- macho men get under my skin.  T and a neighbor coming over to "help" me replace the tube in a bike wheel, explaining the tools to me, despite the fact that I was 99% finished left me fuming all evening. Being teased about driving poorly because I'm a woman irks me too. Okay I can handle stick-shift a lot better now since when I was first learning thankyouverymuch! 

There is some serious macho-ism going on over here in France. Which is a cute way of saying sexism. For those of you who know me well, you know I take offense easily in this area.  Living in a country that often feels like The Boy's Club, I'm trying to figure out where  my internal sense of justice crosses the line to pride.

After this summer, I hope I can take away a stronger sense of confidence, a healthier channel for anger, a humbler spirit and leave behind some pride, unkindness, and callousness.